Even Endings Are Part Of The Journey - Or The Earth Would Be Over Crowded.

I'm in Kauai, and it's the most beautiful place I've ever been, hands down.  In eight days, we have almost seen the whole island - by car, kayak, atv, horse, by hiking, by helicopter.  I've seen and done things that most people only dream of.  I'm writing - in Kauai.  It's really, really beautiful.

And two days ago, while I'm taking in the journey of this wonderous place, my grandfather passed away.  I woke up to a beautiful sunrise...and he didn't wake up at all.  I got the message right after I opened the window to this...

I stood at the window a while, trying to understand what I felt.  Relief.  Relief for him.  You see, 94 years is a long, long time to live.  94 years is filled with journey; adventure, love, joy, heartbreak, sadness, wonder...experience.  The last time I sat with my grandad, just he and I, he was telling me stories about the war, and of when his own children were young.  There was this sadness in him, this longing to be with his love.  "I've been alive a long time.  I've seen a lot of things.  I'm done with my living now. Now I just exist."  And I understood 100%.

I knew this day wasn't far away.  We all knew.  He's been talking to my grandmother for months in the house, looking for her around corners.  So I stand here, not sad - and not feeling guilty about not feeling sad.  I am filled with joy for his life journey, and relief for his exhausted shoulders that carried us all at one point or another.  I am in awe of his experience, and grateful for every part of myself that is because of him.  There have been no tears yet.  All I can hear in my head is his voice, "now, why would you cry? My life has been long, and worth every second. Stop it, right now."   (okay, as I typed it, I shed just a few - but only because that voice though...)

I'm relieved for you, Gramps.  You did good here, and we are all better people because of you.  The gates were wide open when you got there, and I am envious of the entourage that I know were there to greet you.  

I have three days left on this beautiful island, and I do everything with a little more celebration for you.  I know, without one ounce of doubt, you would want me to - because life moves forward for those who are living.  We have no other choice.  And don't you worry one second, Gramps, I've got exactly the right shoes for this journey.

Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever Ours. Always. 

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